He Who Laughs, Or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy

Hi. Welcome to my blog. Are you here because you did a Google search for "Jake Gyllenhaal's penis" and I came up in the results? I get that a lot and I'm honored by the association, but I'm sorry -- you won't find his penis here. Wait! Don't click back; that search is fruitless, since he's only done rear nudity. Believe me, I've checked. You might as well stay, sit a spell, you know, since you're already here. Welcome.